Children and Name-Calling / Body Shaming
Many things might make a child visibly ‘different’ to the majority of others around them.
While each and every child is ‘different’, the reality is that children can sometimes be verbally cruel to each other – by adult standards. However much parents and the personnel of a Cardup Early Learning Centre work together to try and eliminate such tendencies, unfortunately, such events may happen and that can be hurtful for the children at the receiving end (and their parents).
Name-calling and similar – body shaming
This area is surprisingly poorly understood and research has suffered somewhat from a preoccupation with race, whereas there are many other things that differentiate between children. They might include height, build, physical prowess, interests, abilities, speech mannerisms, accents, body build/mass, hair and so on.
It is known that babies as young as 6-9 months can recognise skin colour differences in adults and be seemingly inclined towards preferences towards types it recognises from its primary care provider(s). By the age of 3, any children, including those in a Cardup Early Learning Centre, will have become much more aware of the wide variety of the visible attributes of other children and it’s unusual for this not to result in some name-calling and body shaming.
As the subject of skin colour/race has been extensively and frequently covered in other sources, here we’ll concentrate on other body-type differences.
Allocation of values
It is far from clear why children decide that another child is “too something” and should be mocked for it. The presumption is that this relates to innate hierarchical instincts in human beings. By mocking someone (body shaming), a child reinforces their standing and security in the hierarchy at the expense of another, who is consequently being pushed down the structure.
This entire domain is sometimes seen as an echo of animal behaviours, such as the ‘pecking order’ in chickens. As such, this is an extension of the survival instinct.
This explanation is not universally accepted, with some experts questioning just how innate these behaviours are.
They tend to emphasise the socially-learned mechanisms for differentiating between people, suggesting these tendencies are picked up from family, friends or TV etc. Whatever the origin, it is clear that significant numbers of children will be insulted, mocked or ridiculed as they go through schooling, with this starting in the age range 3-5. On the plus side, many culprit children (though sadly not all) will overcome this tendency by the time they’re in their early teenage years or even much earlier if they’re assisted to overcome it.
Names
The fact that children appear to pick up and use offensive names (though not necessarily swear words) for people with body differences suggests a degree of exposure to such words in their wider lives. This supports theories arguing that at least some of such behaviour is social, not innate.
Damage done
The constant name-calling or body shaming of children can result in severe psychological damage including a loss of self-esteem and a sense in the child that whatever the thing is that other kids are picking up on, is far worse and more differentiating than it is in reality.
No children will start calling another child names and mocking them for being “ordinary” or “just like us”. A typical sequence will likely involve a single bodily attribute being picked up on and initially mocked by one child, perhaps after a squabble or through jealousy etc. That is then picked up by other children who will happily join in.
This can lead to the affected child considering that they are outside of the social group, who they begin to see as “the others”. That can be highly detrimental to their emotional well-being and development.
The roles of Parents and early learning centre providers
When children are heard calling others names or body shaming that relate directly to the victim’s physical characteristics, trained personnel in the Cardup Early Learning Centre must react immediately, though without escalating or exaggerating things unnecessarily. It won’t do the affected child any favours in the wider group if they’re perceived to need an adult’s protection.
A standard approach would be to take the offending child quietly to one side to calmly discuss why they’re calling the other child an offensive and hurtful name. In our experience, some children may not understand the nature of the name they’ve used and how it might be hurtful to the victim. When asked to imagine being on the receiving end, they quickly see the point and will not repeat such behaviours.
Very rarely, cases arise where a child regularly practices name-calling, trying to shame the bodies of other children. Where an Early Learning Centre’s gentle consultations were seemingly ineffective, parents might be asked to intervene to assist with helping their child at home to understand why such behaviour is potentially harmful to others.
If you’d like to know more about our policies in this area and how we work to protect children from body shaming, why not make an appointment to come over and see us?
We’d welcome the chance to explain further.
